Del Mar, California—The sun hadn't even finished its morning stretch when a 46-year-old man was bitten by a shark and required surgery for multiple bites. The incident happened around 9 a.m., about 100 yards offshore, proving that even the ocean prefers its breakfast.

The unlucky victim was part of a group of experienced swimmers who regularly frequent the area, apparently under the impression that local sharks would respect their swimming credentials. Unfortunately, an adolescent white shark must not have received the memo.

The injuries to the man's mid-section, arm, and hand were severe enough to send him to a trauma center, where he underwent surgery and is now in stable condition. The wounds were reportedly consistent with a shark that always aims to make a lasting impression.

A two-mile stretch of the beach, extending from 6th Street to North Beach, was promptly closed for 48 hours following the attack. California Marine Safety Chiefs Association and the Shark Lab at California State University Long Beach enforced the closures according to strict protocol, making sure no other swimmers would see the wrong end of a YouTube-worthy disaster clip.

Shark Lab Director Chris Lowe indicated that it was probably a juvenile white shark responsible for the encounter. These juvenile white sharks are apparently the teenage rebels of the sea, lacking a fully developed sense of boundaries or respect for morning swimmers.

For those keeping score, sharks are abundant in the area but bites are rare, a combination of facts that seems reassuring until you consider that playing Russian roulette with shark attacks wasn't on the morning swim agenda.

In a classic plot twist right out of the movie 'Jaws,' those who believed a marathon showing of shark attack movies would mentally prepare them for such an encounter have been sorely disappointed. This real-life incident confirmed once again that healing from shark bites doesn’t involve background music or a third-act heroic rescue.

As part of the ensuing investigation, DNA analysis is being conducted by the Shark Lab, which presumably will focus on determining whether the shark was indeed juvenile, thus explaining its lack of concern for human swimmer schedules.

All jokes aside, beach-goers are encouraged to remain cautious and be aware of safety protocols. Stay safe, folks—especially when the sea decides it wants a bit more than a nibble.