In a move that critics are likening to trying to get cats to agree on a dinner menu, the Biden administration has discussed potentially negotiating directly with Hamas for the release of American hostages in Gaza. The planned discussions would be conducted through Qatari representatives, one of the few entities that apparently still have Hamas on speed dial and don't immediately press "ignore."

The U.S. intelligence, in a caffeinated bout of clarity, believes that five American citizens—Edan Alexander, Sagui Dekel-Chen, Hersh Goldberg-Polin, Omer Neutra, and Keith Siegel—were taken hostage by Hamas during its October 7th attack on Israel.

The strategy here has some conditions. U.S. representatives would find themselves dialing up Hamas only if the current cease-fire talks between Israel and Hamas break down. As for the possible trade deals, U.S. officials—staring into the abyss of uncertainty—admit to having no clue yet what they might have to offer Hamas in exchange for the release of the hostages.

Adding to the complex cocktail of diplomatic hurdles, the U.S. is also seeking the remains of three American citizens who were killed in the same attack. Clearly, negotiating with an organization like Hamas makes trying to get a cat to prefer one brand of kibble over the other look like child’s play.

The internal discussions, akin to college roommates debating who stole the last slice of pizza, also feature whether the very possibility of a U.S. deal with Hamas might pressure Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu to agree to a ceasefire proposal. Speaking of mixed signals, some U.S. officials are left wondering if this internal debate is an exercise in futility or an avant-garde art performance.

Meanwhile, Goldberg-Polin's parents are on board with any American deal that might free their son, eager to see a resolution to what has become a real-life waiting game that no one wants tickets to.

Interestingly, this foray into negotiations is not an entirely new strategy. The U.S. has historically met with people on its “do-not-invite-to-family-dinners” list, provided it serves national interests. The question at hand, which may have greater success being answered than cats agreeing on salmon or chicken, is: what does America have that Hamas wants?

In summary, the Biden administration's plan to possibly engage in direct talks with Hamas is shaping up to be a diplomatic challenge that rivals organizing world peace at a middle school food fight. Whether it can outperform the metaphorical cats’ menu debate remains to be seen. If this venture succeeds, it may yet be considered a landmark diplomatic achievement, much like getting a cat to actually enjoy a vet visit.