In an unprecedented twist of American familial dynamics, President Biden has made it crystal clear that he will not be commuting any sentence handed down to his son, Hunter Biden, for federal gun felonies (USA Today; NBC News). The presidential pledge of ethics over kinship has likely set the stage for some truly awkward family dinners that even the best of mashed potatoes can't smooth over.

Hunter Biden, the First Son, has been convicted of three federal gun felonies (USA Today, 2024; NBC News, 2024). These charges include falsely filling out a federal form to purchase a firearm by denying his drug addiction, lying to a gun dealer, and knowingly possessing a revolver despite restrictions against individuals addicted to drugs owning firearms. To quote President Biden himself, “Will someone pass the stuffing? And no, Hunter, I can’t pass a commutation.”

The spotlight on Hunter doesn’t stop at the Second Amendment issues. He also faces federal tax charges in California, with a trial set for September (NBC News). Anything short of disappearing into Witness Protection might not save him from the intense legal scrutiny looming over him.

Adding another record to his family name, Hunter Biden has become the first child of a sitting president to be convicted of a crime (USA Today, 2024; NBC News, 2024). Thanksgiving this year might feature Hunter saying, “Pass the turkey,” while the rest of the table is silently pondering, "Pass the judgment?”

Despite these mounting legal issues, President Biden has reiterated his stance: no commutation and no pardon for Hunter (USA Today, 2024; NBC News, 2024). Yes, it’s a bold move and possibly as awkward as playing Monopoly when one player actually just got out of jail.

So far, there’s no sentencing date set for Hunter, but he faces a maximum of up to 25 years in prison (USA Today). Traditional family discussions about school grades or promotions might soon include morose updates on appeals and court visits.

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre barely managed to pivot her way out of questions on this matter. Just a day before President Biden’s firm statement, she did not rule out the possibility of commutation (USA Today). One could imagine the lively debate this led to in the White House corridors, perhaps involving copious amounts of caffeine and existential sighs.

Despite the eleventh-hour legal battles, President Biden has expressed pride in his son, emphasizing his recovery from addiction and describing him as one of the brightest and most decent people he knows (NBC News). The father-son dynamic here could make even Dr. Phil grab his popcorn.

Hunter is considering an appeal, and President Biden has pledged to respect the judicial process (USA Today). For a family that’s currently the center of national attention, respecting the process couldn’t be more critical or less complicated.

In a world where parchment and ethics are traded faster than Pokémon cards, the Biden household’s legal battle serves as a compelling reminder that even the highest office in the land doesn't place family above the law. This Thanksgiving, the Bidens may need more than just cranberry sauce to get through dinner; they might need an entire batch of moral conviction and a little bit of extra gravy.

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