As if Floridians needed any more reminders that their state is essentially nature’s sponge, Governor Ron DeSantis has declared a state of emergency in several South Florida counties. Yes, folks, Florida can indeed get wetter. The counties currently under this emergency declaration include Broward, Collier, Lee, Miami-Dade, and Sarasota.

Fort Lauderdale Mayor Dean Trantalis and Miami-Dade County Mayor Daniella Levine Cava have also declared states of emergency in their respective regions, presumably while stocking up on inflatable rafts and water wings. Up to and over 10 inches of rain have already drenched parts of Broward and Miami-Dade counties, which, despite its ocean-facing serenity, was not exactly thirsting for more water.

Some areas have witnessed rainfall rates reaching six inches per hour, proving once again that if something can go wrong, it will—we’re talking about Murphy’s Law combined with Neptune’s Law here. Over in Sarasota, a record 3.93 inches of rain fell in a single hour. Because why not break records while breaking spirits, right?

The National Weather Service took one look at the situation and decided that a flash flood emergency was in order for portions of Broward and Miami-Dade counties. Meanwhile, major roadways like Broward Boulevard and Federal Highway in Fort Lauderdale found themselves converted into impromptu canals, presumably with enterprising locals ready to take tourists on gondola rides.

In a development that surprised absolutely no one, the deluge forced ground stops at both Miami International and Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International airports, leading to flight delays of over seven hours. It’s as if the rain clouds overheard passengers wishing for a longer layover and decided to grant their wishes, Aladdin-style.

Power outages added to the chaos, with thousands of customers left in the dark: more than 8,900 in Miami-Dade County and approximately 1,900 in Broward County. Power outages also affected traffic lights, transforming driving into an all-new survival sport. Forget NASCAR; we now have ‘Floodcar.’

Authorities urge locals to stay indoors, although for many, this is just a euphemism for “start Googling DIY boat tutorials.” While Gov. DeSantis tends to favor bold actions, many are now calling on him to conjure the next logical step—building a second Ark to complement Noah’s original.

So there you have it, Florida can indeed get even wetter. Whether by Neptune's trident or just really bad luck, South Floridians find themselves in a waterlogged pickle. Stay safe, and remember: when life gives you torrential rains, maybe it's time to invest in that top-notch life jacket.