In a twist that could make even the sturdiest sand wedge shiver, the New Jersey Attorney General's office is taking a close look at the liquor licenses of three Trump-owned golf courses following the former president's felony conviction in New York. Because when life hands you 34 counts of falsifying business records, why not jeopardize a good 19th hole?

The properties under review include the Bedminster Golf Club, Pine Hill (also known as Trump National Golf Club Philadelphia, for those who prefer a touch of confusion in their country club memberships), and the Colts Neck, according to NBC, Fox News, and USA Today. It’s almost as if controversy is the new club logo.

New Jersey law, ever the party pooper, prohibits issuing a liquor license to anyone convicted of a crime involving moral turpitude. And in a 34-count serenade to legal intricacies, Trump was recently found guilty of falsifying business records related to a hush money payment. Moral turpitude has officially become the buzzword of the season.

In an almost Shakespearean twist of defense, the Trump Organization claims that the former president does not hold any liquor license in New Jersey, nor is he an officer or director of any entity that holds such a license, as noted by NBC and USA Today. Just your average Joe, then, whose name just happens to hang above many a clubhouse entrance.

But the intrigue doesn't stop there. In what can only be described as a prequel to this legal drama, former New Jersey Attorney General Gurbir Grewal had once attempted to revoke the liquor license for the Trump National Golf Club Colts Neck following a fatal car accident, reported Fox News. If you've been waiting for a plot twist involving past infractions, congratulations, your patience has paid off.

This wasn't just any slap on the wrist. Colts Neck paid nearly $400,000 to the ABC (no, not the TV network but the Alcoholic Beverage Control) and limited alcohol availability as a direct result of this prior investigation, according to Fox News. The greens may be lush, but it appears the legal landscape is distinctly barren.

It's not all just legal fact-checking, though. A Trump Organization spokesperson noted that these golf courses are some of the most iconic properties in the world and that negative reports harm the livelihoods of many Americans, as reported by NBC and USA Today. An argument worthy of any courtroom drama, the perception seems to be that every hit to a Trump property is a hit to Americana itself.

And just when you thought there couldn't be more red tape, New Jersey liquor laws also demand that any license holder must possess a reputable character and operate their business in a reputable manner, according to USA Today. Reputation can be a fickle fairway, especially when sprinkled with legal landmines.

Despite these complications, the Trump National Golf Club continues to be an embodiment of upscale leisure, albeit now scrutinized under a rather unflattering magnifying glass. Much like a high-stakes golf tournament where every stroke is monitored, every drop of alcohol served now carries the weight of legal precedents and public opinion.

Only time will tell how this story unfolds—will the drinks keep flowing, or will the taps run dry, leaving avid golfers to cope with their swings sans the solace of a post-game cocktail?

To paraphrase a phrase frequently miscalculated on social media: "Liquor licenses under review following a felony conviction? Only in 2023, folks. Only in 2023."

Return to the top, practice that backswing, and maybe tee up for a less tumultuous year at the links.