In a rare display of unity, Congress has formed a bipartisan task force to investigate the attempted assassination of former President Trump, with seven Republicans and six Democrats ready to dig for truth and maybe some sanity.

In an unprecedented vote of 416 to 0, the House of Representatives has green-lit a bipartisan task force to get to the bottom of the assassination attempt on former President Trump. Led by Chairman Mike Kelly and Ranking Member Jason Crow, the task force boasts a balanced lineup of seven Republicans and six Democrats, all granted subpoena power to unearth the truth. With a report deadline of December 13, 2024, their goal includes recommending security measures to prevent future attacks—because apparently, even Congress agrees that dodging bullets isn't the best way to handle political disagreements.

The formation of this task force comes on the heels of the shocking incident at an outdoor rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, where former President Trump was shot. Tragically, one spectator lost their life during the attack. Given the gravity of the situation and the nationwide attention it garnered, Congress decided it was high time to put politics aside and work together—an event perhaps rarer than a solar eclipse.

Chairman Mike Kelly, who represents Butler, Pennsylvania, was the driving force behind the resolution to establish this task force. His personal connection to the area and the incident has made him an ardent advocate for the investigation. Kelly's motivations are clear: find out who is responsible, and more importantly, how they breached security. It turns out, bulletproof vests aren't one-size-fits-all solutions for our nation's leaders.

On the Republican side, along with Mike Kelly, the task force includes Mark Green of Tennessee, David Joyce of Ohio, Laurel Lee of Florida, Michael Waltz of Florida, Clay Higgins of Louisiana, and Pat Fallon of Texas. These seven members, presumably armed with both resolve and a ready supply of coffee, bring diverse backgrounds and opinions to the table. One can only hope they’ve cleared their schedules and farmed out their dogs because this isn’t going to be a walk in the National Mall.

Representing the Democrats, Ranking Member Jason Crow of Colorado leads the charge with an equally diligent team. This includes Lou Correa of California, Madeleine Dean of Pennsylvania, Chrissy Houlahan of Pennsylvania, Glenn Ivey of Maryland, and Jared Moskowitz of Florida. Each member brings unique experience and expertise, from emergency management to state representation, covering almost every scenario short of alien invasions.

Interestingly, Representative Dan Goldman, D-N.Y., was notably left out of the task force. This might be due to his controversial remark suggesting Trump needed to be ‘eliminated,' which he later clarified. It appears that if you're vocal about seeing political opponents gone, you won't be the first choice to investigate when an attempt is made. Who knew?

The task force’s broad authority includes issuing subpoenas and taking depositions. They can also churn out interim reports to keep the public, and perhaps each other, updated on their progress. One might envision a gripping series of episodic updates, but let's hope the plot holes are minimal and the cliffhangers, non-existent.

A December 13, 2024, deadline has been set for the final report, and this isn't just a run-of-the-mill investigative summary. This report will also contain legislative recommendations designed to prevent such security lapses in the future. It’s a tall order, but if the task force has their way, the days of ducking literal bullets in American politics might be numbered.

Representative Chrissy Houlahan emphasized the unanimous passage of the task force formation, calling it a commitment to truth, civility, decency, and patriotism. One can almost hear the national anthem playing softly in the background as she takes her stand. In a political climate as polarized as this one, such unanimous decisions aren't just rare—they're practically mythical.

Representative Jared Moskowitz brought his prior experience with the Florida Division of Emergency Management and his role as a State Representative from Parkland to the forefront, making a case for his qualifications. If anyone knows how to respond to emergencies and chaotic situations, it's certainly someone from Parkland. One might argue that if Moskowitz's qualifications were any more fitting, he’d already be donning a superhero cape.

With the task force officially formed, all eyes will be on their progress. As they delve into the details of the incident and seek to hold the responsible parties accountable, the nation waits with bated breath. Or at least, with one eye on the newsfeed and the other on the stranger things trending on social media. After all, stark dialogues in the hallowed halls of Congress aren’t usually what keeps people on the edge of their seats—but one never knows in today’s political theater.