Costco has officially raised membership prices for the first time since 2017, with Gold Star fees jumping from $60 to $65 — perhaps the biggest deal of the year since that one time half the store was on sale.

Starting now, those 52 million Costco members will feel the pinch of the extra $5 fee, a move that’s as shocking as finding a $6,000 diamond ring in the clearance bin. This price hike, part of a clever scheme to offset rising expenses, also comes with a shiny new annual reward for executive members, boosting their cash back from $1,000 to $1,250, because why not give a little back to those who clearly love overpaying for bulk-sized jars of mayonnaise?

The membership price increase affects about 52 million memberships across the nation, with more than half being of the executive variety. This significant number means that Costco is not just another store; it's practically a membership club where the elite come to purchase a lifetime supply of industrial-sized snacks. The executives, most of whom probably reside in bigger homes than their local Costco, will now get a slightly sweeter deal on their already extravagant bulk spending.

For those considering the math, the increase equates to a mere 8.33% bump for Gold Star members and an admirable 8.33% for executive members too. If we’re honest, these rises are practically negligible given the thrill of being able to purchase 75 pounds of toilet paper at once, but it still stings like accidentally stepping on a Lego while sprinting to the snack aisle.

In the grand scheme of Costco's financial strategy, this move is designed to generate an additional revenue stream to counterbalance expenses. Membership fees generated a staggering $4.6 billion last year, proving it’s not just the breathtakingly low prices and free samples that keep people returning — it’s the allure of that membership card, like a key to the world of discounted doom and repacked items.

But it’s not all sunshine and bulk items at Costco. The retail giant is also tightening the reins on unauthorized membership sharing, giving members another reason to clutch their cards close. Shoppers will now be required to scan their membership cards at store entrances, a move designed to deter rogue shoppers who think they can sanely stroll in and snag a slice of that $1.25 pepperoni pizza while pretending they didn't just split a Costco-sized omelet with nine other friends.

This vigilance is as much about preserving the integrity of membership benefits as it is about pragmatism. One can only assume that members who do take advantage of this sharing will soon find themselves subjected to an extensive interrogation before being allowed to purchase their treasured goods. Expect to hear a lot of casual conversation about family trees the next time you try to bring in your neighbor’s cousin’s friend’s friend.

Interestingly, this marks the first price increase since the last adjustment made in 2017, which similarly raised Gold Star and business membership fees to $60, and executive memberships to $120. It begs the question: How many more years can one store maintain low membership rates before it crumbles under the weight of its own delicious pizza slice and ultra-huggable bedding?

So what does this mean for the average shopper? Well, those who brave the lines and prepare for a cart-carrying marathon will surely continue to reap the rewards — unless, of course, they fall into the dreaded membership sharing trap. For Costco's millions of loyal patrons, those extra pennies might lead to less impulse purchasing next time they’re pushed to the limit with a cart overflowing with snacks that could feed a small army.

As the price of membership grows just slightly, so does the love-hate relationship members have with Costco. The retailer continues to innovate its services and adjust to economic pressures, proving that while they might be raising membership costs, they are also giving a little back when it comes to executive perks. Meanwhile, the rest of us are left hugging our oversized jars of mayonnaise, clinging to the memberships we hope will savor our wallets just a bit longer — effective strategies or merely an exercise in whimsical bulk buying; time will tell.