Stellantis is recalling over 1.2 million Ram pickup trucks in the U.S. due to a sneaky software glitch that could disable stability control—because who needs stability when you’ve got horsepower?

The recall, which affects Ram 1500 models from 2019 to 2024 and over 233,000 vehicles in Canada and beyond, highlights the dangers of relying on tech to keep heavy machinery upright. While brakes will still work just fine, drivers may find themselves questioning their life choices as they wrestle with software instead of simply cruising on all four wheels. Stellantis is set to remedy the situation free of charge, starting with notification letters rolling out on October 3rd, because nothing says 'trust us' like a sudden invitation to bring your truck in for a software update.

The issue stems from the anti-lock brake software, which has shown some remarkable dedication to keeping things interesting on the road. It appears that the software could inadvertently disable the electronic stability control—a feature designed to assist with throttle and brake management during those moments when the pavement decides to be more of a suggestion than a rule. Of course, this contributes to that age-old question: Is it really a pickup truck if it never tries to tango with the pavement?

While you'd still have brakes functioning in this electrifying game of car roulette, drivers might experience a little extra skidding. Picture it: a perfectly good day becoming a Michelin tire-wearing performance art piece as you try to regain control of your truck. It's a captivating dance, if not particularly safe. Stellantis does want to assure everyone that they're blissfully unaware of any crashes or injuries linked to this software hiccup—so at least they haven't been forced to perform large-scale ballet moves across the asphalt just yet.

This isn’t Stellantis' first rodeo, either. It's following closely on the hooves of a previous recall that snared nearly 158,000 Ram 2500 pickups in June. One could argue that Stellantis was just staying proactive, making sure its trucks didn't accidentally develop a personality for extreme sports. With two high-profile recalls in just a few months, it’s almost like Stellantis is auditioning for a role as the village's unreliable dog. You love it, but you definitely don’t trust it alone with the neighbor’s cats.

Interestingly enough, this latest round of software snafus was actually uncovered through some diligent sleuthing in customer feedback. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration could take notes, as nothing makes the discovery of a serious issue sound more heartwarming than regular folks chiming in about their shenanigans with really powerful machines. It’s as if the trucks were secretly asking for help, but only through disgruntled comments left on the company’s review page.

In addition to the Ram truck spectacle, Stellantis has also announced recalls for the Jeep Gladiator and Jeep Wrangler. Safety seems to be doing some heavy lifting lately in the automaker's world. As they juggle recalls like a circus performer, Stellantis is proving that modern-day automotive innovation doesn’t always translate to straightforward driving experiences. Perhaps it's time to consider a comprehensive rebranding campaign. 'Stellantis: Here for Big Trucks, Bigger Laughs!' might just resonate.

Ultimately, Ram truck owners will see their trucks return to a modicum of normalcy within weeks, thanks to software updates courtesy of their local dealers. And yes, it’s all come without the hefty price tag one would expect after admitting you need an upgrade just to keep the truck from engaging an impromptu rear-end slide show. Until then, drivers may want to keep their trucks out of any dodgy situations where stability might be key—like, say, a wedding reception parking lot.

So, Ram truck owners, rest easy. Your vehicles will soon be back to that familiar sense of stability that allows you to haul all the tools and toys you need for whatever weekend projects you’re planning. Just make sure to hold off on performing any donuts until you’re certain your stability control is back up and running—that is, unless you’re looking for an unexpected nomination for the next state fair stunt show.