North Korea has taken missile-testing to new heights—literally! A recent launch from Pyongyang soared for 86 minutes, proving that their intercontinental ballistic capabilities are still thriving, just like their knack for disturbing world peace.

In a blatant defiance of international norms and a not-so-subtle call for attention ahead of the U.S. presidential election, North Korea has achieved a record-breaking missile flight, staying airborne for 86 minutes before crashing into the sea. This unprecedented launch not only underscores the regime's high-flying ambitions, reaching an altitude of about 4,350 miles, but also serves as a stark reminder of their commitment to transforming our collective anxiety into an Olympic sport of long-range missile launches.

The missile's jaunt was no ordinary stroll through the atmosphere. It traveled approximately 620 miles, scattering seagulls and perhaps a few alarmed fish along the way. This flight eclipsed North Korea's previous record by a solid 13 minutes, making it perfectly clear that when it comes to missile launches, they are setting the bar higher than most comedians get during a three-hour comedy special at a dive bar.

Japanese Defense Minister Gen Nakatani confirmed this milestone, perhaps inadvertently casting himself as the world's newest missile-launch historian. Nakatani's assertion that this was the longest flight time for a North Korean missile added some gravity to a situation that was already soaring to new heights—quite literally, it seems. What’s next? Buying a souvenir 'I survived the great North Korean ICBM launch' t-shirt?

In a rather jam-packed week for geopolitical tensions, this missile test arrives just in time for the U.S. election on November 5. If you thought a dramatic commercial break featuring a sad dog could gather attention, you haven’t seen anything yet. North Korea, with its remarkable timing, is making it clear that nothing draws eyes like a well-placed missile launch put on just before a significant political event.

The U.S. National Security Council has labeled this launch a 'flagrant violation' of multiple UN Security Council resolutions, echoing sentiments across the globe that North Korea continues to shrug off international laws like a maestro dismissing off-key notes during a symphony. While the world awaits any potential diplomatic response, it can perhaps take solace in knowing that North Korea excels in testing both their weapons and the patience of nations around the globe.

Missile enthusiasts will note that the missile was launched at a 'very high' angle, which, let’s be honest, sounds like a point of pride for North Korea’s engineers. If there were awards for ingenuity in launching things straight up in the air, North Korea would certainly earn a few Golds, imagining they’d receive applause instead of criticism. Meanwhile, the South Korean intelligence agency had predicted this was coming, further adding fuel to the 'well, we called it' camp.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un later characterized the test as ‘appropriate military action’ while simultaneously putting on an entirely new definition of a 'test flight.' His assertion encapsulates the regime’s understanding of appropriate practices, which differ starkly from international standards. If appropriateness were a game show, one would certainly have to question whether North Korea had even read the rules.

Despite the evident bravado, this test signals more than just a science experiment gone rogue. Analysts speculate that the lofted angle may indicate the theoretical capability for North Korea to travel much farther than the missile's test flight suggested. What this means for international safety—or lack thereof—is still being ruminated on by concerned nations, but let's face it, nobody wants to put in a performance review on this chapter of missile history.

As everyone involved shuffles anxiously through their policy playbooks, let’s not forget that North Korea’s latest test is about more than just the missile itself; it’s a multi-layered marketing strategy meant for maximum impact—and, quite frankly, a show to rival the most jittery of fireworks displays. With November 5 looming on the horizon, North Korea seems poised to remain in the spotlight, ensuring that even the finest of election night spectacles might pale in comparison to a newly perfected, internationally vetted missile display.