As President-elect Trump prepares to take office for a second time, the Justice Department is planning to hit the brakes on two federal criminal cases, citing a policy against prosecuting sitting presidents and a looming deadline.

In a move that could turn the legal landscape into a peaceful meadow, the Justice Department is gearing up to suspend proceedings against Trump, driven by an age-old memo insisting that prosecuting a sitting president might disrupt the presidential flow. While his legal team pushes for an indefinite pause, many wonder if the cases will be tossed into the post-presidency abyss or if Trump will self-pardon like he’s handing out candy on Halloween.

The decision to reconsider the ongoing federal criminal cases against Trump is firmly anchored in a memo from the Office of Legal Counsel dating back to the year 2000. This document makes it rather clear that federal prosecutors should refrain from taking action against a sitting president. It seems the government has determined that presidential duties are like delicate glass ornaments—one wrong move could lead to a shattering of executive responsibilities and possibly a few constitutional headaches.

Officials are likely pleased to rely on this documented doctrine, since it provides a rather convenient legal umbrella under which they can push the tides of justice away from the president's doorstep. <i>Prosecuting a sitting president,</i> according to the memo, would not only be a bad idea; it might also interfere with the important business of cheeseburgers and photo ops that define presidential duties.

In the midst of these developments, former Attorney General Bill Barr chimed in, suggesting that a Trump-appointed attorney general could effectively pull the plug on all pending federal cases against Trump faster than you can say, 'You’re fired.' Barr's comments add a layer of political intrigue, indicating a fluid legal situation that could pivot at any moment depending on who's overseeing the Justice Department.

On the legal tactical front, Trump's legal team appears optimistic, as they aim for either a dismissal of the charges or, more likely, a perpetual delay that keeps the cases floating in limbo. Given that Trump has mastered the art of postponement in various litigations throughout his career, this approach seems right up his alley. Why rush into a courtroom when you can simply push all the appointments to 'eventually'?

As things stand, the clock is ticking. With impending deadlines looming for filings in both cases, Special Counsel Jack Smith is faced with the delightful task of having to decide whether to take action within weeks. It’s not an enviable position to be in—having to decide between the rule of law and a perceived constitutional buffer around the Oval Office. Hopefully, Jack has a strong cup of coffee on hand.

Complicating the narrative further is the possibility that these criminal cases could be revived after Trump leaves office—if he ever does leave. Questions abound about the feasibility of resurrecting any legal actions that may have been quietly filed away. Will they gather dust like forgotten holiday ornaments, or will they spring back into action the moment he steps down? Either way, it's a cliffhanger that keeps legal analysts guessing.

Amidst the swirling chaos, Trump has made it abundantly clear that he isn't going to sit quietly while the legal world hovers around. He has suggested potential avenues of retaliation—firing Special Counsel Jack Smith or, as though from the pages of a sprawling epic, self-pardoning. The latter is particularly juicy, as it would require Trump to believe he somehow possesses the authority to absolve himself of any wrongdoing—talk about a power trip!

Adding another layer, Trump's spokesperson weighed in by stating the Justice Department's potential decision to drop the cases was warranted due to Trump's overwhelming electoral mandate. After all, if a winning vote could wipe the slate clean, there might be more candidates out there contemplating their next presidential runs with a legal pad in one hand and a calculator in the other.

Presently, the charges against Trump orbit around allegations of election interference and the handling of classified documents—two subjects that have recently become just a bit persuasive around election season.

As the nation braces for the inauguration festivities, Americans are left pondering the ramifications of the ongoing legal proceedings. This odd situation presents a real-life scenario in which law and politics blend in a way that could leave even the most seasoned political pundits scratching their heads. Will the Justice Department follow through on their intentions to ease up on the legal woes of the president, or will the whole affair get caught up in an endless loop of motions and memos? Only time—and a calendar with a lot of unscheduled events—will tell.