Demarcus Robinson, fresh off a dismal Rams loss to the Eagles, was arrested for DUI after reportedly driving over 100 mph, proving that the only thing faster than his car was his post-game decision-making.

Just hours after catching two passes for a touchdown in a losing effort against the Eagles, Robinson's choice to speed towards what we can only assume was a very late-night celebratory pizza resulted in his arrest at 5:15 a.m. The Rams have opted to stay silent on the situation, possibly hoping to avoid any further speeding tickets in the public relations lane.

According to police reports, Robinson was pulled over after officers observed a sedan zooming past at speeds exceeding 100 miles per hour. This high-speed manoeuvre took place shortly before dawn, a time when most sensible drivers are either asleep or waiting impatiently for that first cup of coffee. Apparently, Robinson decided that the roads were his own personal race track, prompting law enforcement's attention and inevitable intervention.

Upon being stopped, deputies noted "objective signs and symptoms" of alcohol impairment. The implications of this are as clear as mud: it seems Robinson may have attempted to drive while under the influence, which led to a classic intersection of poor judgment and law enforcement. Tellingly, when asked to provide his identity, Robinson reportedly indicated his professional status as an active player for the Rams, perhaps attempting to provide a very different sort of 'touchdown' in the conversation.

In the aftermath, Robinson was cited and subsequently released to a responsible party, raising the question of whether his 'responsible party' was someone who withheld the car keys or simply called an Uber. Thankfully, nobody was injured, which is more than can be said for Rams fans still reeling from the team's defeat on Sunday Night Football.

The match saw Robinson contributing with two catches for a total of 15 yards and a touchdown, far from record-breaking on the surface, but perhaps a solid performance compared to the actually dismal performance of the team overall. With an overall tally of 26 catches for 384 yards and six touchdowns in the season so far, there's a glimpse of potential that could theoretically help him bounce back—provided he remains on the straight and narrow.

Prior to joining the Rams, Robinson played for several other teams, including the Chiefs, Raiders, and Ravens, which may have elaborated a bit on his shapeshifting character from player to, well, subject of a police report. It's almost as if he collected teams like trading cards; now he adds ‘arrested’ to his resume, hopefully not on the front lines of his next application.

Despite the mishap, the Rams have yet to publicly address Robinson's situation. This leaves fans and pundits alike scratching their heads as they try to decode whether silence signifies a serious deliberation or just the fear of exacerbating an already unpleasant scenario. A source close to the team suggested that they are letting the dust settle, which might indicate they’re hoping the incident might speedily fade away like that sedan in the early morning.

In any case, we can only hope his team can channel their frustration over the Eagles loss into reminding him that not every form of celebration should involve the police.

For now, Robinson’s self-inflicted hit may serve as a cautionary tale, particularly following his arrest on suspicion of driving under the influence. In the world of professional sports, it seems the lessons learned from these adventures are often overshadowed by the dulling hammer of media commentary, but we can hope that Robinson will curve his trajectory toward more socially acceptable celebrations.

In a swift conclusion, one can only assume that the Rams would like to avoid all the headlines concerning their night besides the loss itself; maybe they'll implement a curfew or sponsorship deal with car services to keep players away from any more wild mishaps. After all, staying out of police station news is as critical as staying out of the end zone for a touchdown in the world of professional football.