A 72-year-old American man mysteriously vanished from the Ruby Princess cruise ship, prompting a search in San Francisco that ended with authorities saying, 'He’s probably on a permanent vacation.'

As authorities continue their search for the missing passenger who seemingly slipped through the cracks of cruise life, they branded the incident as a 'man overboard.' The U.S. Coast Guard has suspended their efforts after finding no trace of the man, leading to speculation that he might have opted for a more leisurely route to Ensenada—a scenic route that unfortunately includes an extended vacation with no return ticket.

The Ruby Princess, which set sail for Ensenada, Mexico, on November 27, became the unlikely protagonist in this nautical mystery. The ship, while in a tropical sunny mood, might have failed to keep its more adventurous passengers from wandering off to find their own little islands, albeit in less desirable circumstances.

When the authorities launched their search after returning to San Francisco, it wasn’t just a casual stroll through the ship’s buffet line looking for the man. Extensive reviews of CCTV footage were conducted alongside thorough searches of the ship's nooks and crannies, presumably including behind the giant fruit sculptures that cruise ships are so fond of displaying. Sadly, no luck was to be found amidst the pineapple and watermelon carvings.

The man was reportedly traveling alone, leaving his fate shrouded in mystery that deepens by the hour. While concerns for solo travelers are generally reserved for questionable excursions and potential run-ins with questionable crew members, this particular case has struck an alarming chord with those familiar with cruise vacations. After all, the likelihood of disappearing in the middle of a buffet line seems profoundly undesirable, even for seasoned travelers.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection has taken over the investigation, which means there's a good chance the search will now include a thorough audit of the ship’s permits and snacks rather than just the decks. Celebrity cruises and ship weddings certainly wouldn’t want the ghost of a vanished man hovering over their fun-filled quayside escapades.

The U.S. Coast Guard has officially suspended the search. Their final communiqué around 5:30 p.m. on Monday echoed a haunting silence aboard the ship—a bittersweet reminder that cruises come with more than just sun, sea, and all-you-can-eat pizza. They come with risk, poor decision-making, and an unimpressed family back home.

In the aftermath, Princess Cruises has expressed their condolences to the family and friends of the missing guest. One has to wonder if the cruise line feels that sympathy ever feels as genuine after their ships play host to such tragedies. The cozy brochures showcasing ships sailing into sunset don’t usually cover what happens when a passenger decides to take an unplanned plunge into the abyss.

As the story develops—or perhaps floats away on a gentle sea breeze—one can only ponder the fate of the 72-year-old traveler. Were his last adventures filled with visions of piña coladas or a spontaneous urge to dive into the ocean? Only time and a thorough search of the ocean floor will reveal the answers.