Brazil's Supreme Court has officially grounded former President Bolsonaro's hopes of attending Trump's inauguration, quashing his appeal and leaving him to ponder the great escape from his legal woes while waving goodbye to his wife.

The court's decision not only prevents Bolsonaro from flying off to join his pal Trump on January 20 but also serves as a stern reminder that even former presidents can't simply out-fly their legal troubles—especially when facing accusations of coup plotting and a hefty legal baggage that comes with it. Meanwhile, he took one last trip to the airport, not for a victory lap, but to wave goodbye to his wife, who at least gets to don her best outfit for the occasion.

Bolsonaro's lawyers filed an appeal claiming full compliance with Supreme Court measures, attempting to make the case that their client was not the poster child for impunity but rather a misunderstood rogue in need of a passport. Sadly for him, Justice Alexandre de Moraes was not buying it, sustaining the previous ruling that had denied Bolsonaro's request. One can only assume that the phrase 'full compliance' lost something in translation between legal jargon and courtroom reality.

The legal hurdles for Bolsonaro are growing higher than the walls of Brazil's Supreme Court. Currently barred from holding office until 2030, he stands accused of serious crimes related to coup plotting. His lawyers’ repeated attempts to argue against his restrictions make one wonder if they ever considered opening a travel agency instead.

In February 2024, Bolsonaro’s passport was confiscated, sealing his fate for the foreseeable future. His attempt to join Trump's inauguration was further complicated by the ominous cloud of impending investigations hovering over him. Even legal experts expressed skepticism that the court would ever grant such a request with investigations buzzing like annoying flies at a barbecue. As it turns out, political friendships are no substitutes for legal legitimacy.

Bolsonaro's defense took a dramatic turn when he accused the Supreme Court of political persecution. While he made no accusations of an actual witch hunt, it certainly felt like he was grasping for sympathy in a courtroom that is decidedly less forgiving than his fanbase. However, it seems the political climate in Brazil is not so easily swayed by the turmoil of a former leader now relegated to waving goodbye at the airport.

In a rather ironic twist, Bolsonaro expressed that he had received an invitation to Trump's inauguration, insisting that the event was supposed to be a joyous reunion. In light of the current circumstances, it almost feels as though he should have RSVP'd with 'maybe' rather than committing to a trip he's now barred from taking. After all, you don’t want to miss a chance to reunite with a fellow ex-leader who has really mastered the art of defying social norms.

Justice de Moraes didn’t mince words while stating that Bolsonaro had hypothetically considered escaping to avoid criminal liability. This suggests that the former president might have been less focused on attending the ceremony and more on plotting a geo-political game of cat and mouse, where the stakes are his freedom. Clearly, attendance at the inauguration wouldn't have been complete without a dramatic monologue delivered at the United Nations from a beach in Panama.

As the events unfolded, Bolsonaro was indeed spotted at the airport, not with his own boarding pass, but to send off his wife Michelle. One couldn’t help but admire the poignancy of the scene; he, a former president grounded by his misdeeds, standing solemnly while his wife prepared to journey where he cannot. Perhaps he was left to ponder his choices, realizing that the only consolation he may derive from this situation is from the view of her stylish ensemble as she boards a plane to fulfill her own political obligations.

Ultimately, while his legal troubles may feel like they're trapping him in a never-ending game of dodgeball with the law, the symbolic act of waving Michelle off seemed to encapsulate the entire situation: an exiled leader reduced to watching from afar. The world might be giving him the cold shoulder, but at least there's always the option of a wistful wave goodbye—or a dramatic escape plan that was never put into action.