After an unplanned nine-month stay in space thanks to Boeing's engineering hiccups, NASA astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams are finally back on Earth, ready to tackle gravity and its infamous side effects.

After a journey that was meant to last just 10 days but turned into a prolonged cosmic weekend, Wilmore and Williams face the daunting task of readjusting to life on Earth. Experts warn that their extended stay in zero gravity may have left them reeling from muscle loss, altered immune systems, and a need for extensive physical therapy. While they may be thrilled to trade in their space suits for sweatpants, these astronauts will have to navigate the challenges of gravity, balance, and the shocking reality of terrestrial television.

During their lengthy tenure aboard the spacecraft, which was originally intended for a brief ten-day mission, the two astronauts encountered some rather unwelcomed guests: propulsion problems and helium leaks. It seems Boeing's Starliner really knows how to throw a party—except it didn’t invite them back to Earth.

This unexpected soiree culminated with their return executed via a SpaceX Dragon capsule as part of the Crew-9 mission. One has to wonder if a Dragon capsule came equipped with oxygen-infused snacks or perhaps a hot tub for the weary travelers. Alas, it’s not quite that glamorous in the world of space travel.

As the duo gears up for their return to normalcy, the prognosis isn’t all hugs and high-fives. Dr. Christopher Mason, an expert on the biological effects of space travel, noted that the astronauts may be experiencing changes in gene expression. It turns out a lengthy stay in zero gravity could even result in the lengthening of telomeres—those tiny protective caps on our chromosomes that usually herald the passage of time. In layman’s terms, they might just have a few extra years of wisdom, or at least the wisdom to avoid the poorly designed holiday lights.

Former astronaut Jose M. Hernandez weighed in on the reality of readjusting to Earth. He pointed out that Wilmore and Williams will have to go through extensive physical therapy to regain muscle and bone strength, which is likely not as fun as it sounds—more like a ‘trust us, it’s for your own good’ kind of ordeal. The idea of endless squats and stretches may feel like a harsh punishment after months of floating around, but it’s all part of the space return kit.

Further complicating things is the recalibration of their vestibular balance system, which may leave them resembling wobbly newborn deer for a while. Adjusting to gravity isn’t just about physics; it involves teaching the body what 'down' and 'up' mean again—the kind of thing we often take for granted on solid ground. And let’s face it, there are plenty of obstacles for them to navigate, not the least of which is keeping up with the latest TikTok trends that may have emerged in their absence.

Despite these challenges, history suggests that most astronauts begin to feel more like themselves within a few weeks. Those first few days, however, are notoriously unsettling. Imagine being sky-high in a cosmic bubble for months, then expecting to walk into the local Starbucks without tripping over your own feet. It’s bound to be more awkward than an unskilled dance at a high school prom.

Upon their return, Wilmore and Williams were greeted off the coast of Florida, excitingly welcomed back via a NASA livestream. Who thought returning from space would involve internet connectivity? The streaming world has evidently made its way beyond Earth's orbit. But in a world where a return can be measured in clicks and likes, it’s safe to say that these astronauts might just have an easier time navigating space than the social media landscape.

So, as Butch and Suni transition from their zero-gravity lifestyle back to Earth, one can only wish them luck with their physical therapy, recovery, and the bewildering tasks of reestablishing their relationship with solid ground. After all, not everyone gets to go to space and then come back to an entirely different Earth filled with enigmatic hybrid coffees and strange new gadgets. Here’s to adjusting to gravity, and perhaps figuring out how to binge-watch Netflix without floating away from the couch.