In a chaotic match against the Yankees, Kevin Gausman not only piled on six runs and five walks but also turned a simple ejection into a theatrical plunge down the stairs, caught on camera for all to see.

Gausman’s rough outing became a spectacle remembered not just for the six runs and five walks but for his dramatic exit, as he stumbled down the stairs to the clubhouse post-ejection, proving that while he may have lost his grip on the strike zone, he certainly knows how to steal the scene. This theatricality comes as his ERA jumped from a respectable 3.16 to a staggering 4.50, solidifying his place as the leading star in this tragicomedy of errors.

The drama began during a grueling third inning where Gausman threw a jaw-dropping 53 pitches, the most any pitcher has thrown in a single inning since Cam Vieaux managed to squeeze out 56 pitches back in July 2022. That’s right, not even a marathon runner can throw that many pitches without considering a brief pit stop. The Blue Jays may have been left wondering if their pitcher was trying to send a message about the concept of endurance, or perhaps he was thinking about entering a new career in stand-up comedy at the local sports club.

Sadly, Gausman’s performance did little to keep the audience laughing. The Yankees bloated the scoreline in this first game of the doubleheader, securing an 11-2 victory that left the Blue Jays in a state of disbelief. Perhaps it was the cosmic alignment of the stars throwing a pitch against Gausman that day, or maybe it was just another Tuesday in baseball. Regardless, the end result was a reminder that sometimes even a pitcher's best laid plans can be uprooted by the striking barrage of a determined opponent.

As frustrations mounted, Gausman aired his grievances with home plate umpire Chris Conroy during the game. The southpaw was particularly vocal about the strikes he felt were unjustly called balls, signaling yet another instance of a pitcher engaging in the age-old pastime of arguing with the umpires—an art so commonplace it should almost come with a syllabus. A few choice words in the direction of Conroy were enough to earn him an early exit from the game, marking another chapter in the storied rivalry between players and those with the ability to don the mask of authority.

However, the ejection proved to be just the beginning of Gausman's woes. As he ambled back to the dugout, visibly simmering from the decision, perhaps contemplating the injustices of baseball, he lost his footing and took a tumble down the stairs leading to the clubhouse. Evidently, when it rains, it pours; or in this case, when you’re out of the strike zone, you may also find yourself out of luck, too. The stumble was expertly caught on camera by YES Network, providing instant replay-worthy material that likely overshadowed the intended impact of his ejection.

Perhaps in a parallel universe where such incidents didn’t unfold in full view of the public, Gausman would have been the calm, collected pitcher reviewing tape of what went wrong during his time on the mound. Instead, audiences across the nation witnessed a man facing both the physical and metaphorical steep cliffs of baseball—a true two-for-one special on suffering that no one asked for. A visual metaphor, one might say, for how one moment you’re debating the legality of a strike zone, and the next you’re auditioning for the role of ‘most dramatic fall’ in the outtakes of a baseball season.

Blue Jays manager John Schneider, too, felt the sting of the umpire's wrath later in the game when he faced his own ejection after a heated argument over another strike call in the fifth inning. Though that incident surely warranted its own round of applause, the attention quickly shifted back to Gausman, whose crash landing became the highlight of both the game and social media reels.

Certainly, Gausman’s performance this past Tuesday was a cocktail of sour pitches and slip-ups served with a twist of irony. While he hopes for a more favorable outcome in future outings, he may want to also take a moment to consider stair safety in the wake of the drama that ensued. It's a slippery slope out there, both on the field and off, and the precarious nature of pitching in Major League Baseball just might warrant some added precautions—preferably of the non-slip adhesive variety.

For the Blue Jays and their fans, this outing will be remembered less for its statistical implications and more for its off-field antics. One can only hope Gausman returns to reclaim dominance on the mound; perhaps next time he might also want to bring a stair rail along for the ride. After all, there’s nothing quite so humbling as a reminder that the world of sports can swing from the heights of triumph to the depths of, well, a tumble down the stairs.