In a heated ninth inning on June 20, 2025, both Dodgers and Padres managers were ejected as tensions flared, with Fernando Tatis Jr. being hit for the third time this season and the umpires left to wonder, 'What did I do to deserve this?'

As tempers flared and tempers cooled simultaneously, the matchup between the Los Angeles Dodgers and San Diego Padres turned from a battle for NL West supremacy to a scene reminiscent of a high school cafeteria food fight, with both managers ejected following yet another hit-by-pitch incident involving Tatis. With eight batters bruised over the series, clearly, hitting players has become the hottest new strategy—likely inspired by the Dodgers’ slim lead in a season series they currently lead 5-2. Experts suggest that next week’s rematch could either be a thrilling game of baseball or a riveting contest of dodgeball.

The mayhem began when Dodgers pitcher Jack Little decided to treat Tatis like a piñata, delivering a pitch that was more about hitting than striking out. This marked the third time Tatis has received a warm greeting from a baseball in just seven games against the Dodgers this season, leading one to wonder if Little mistakenly thought he was at a birthday party and Tatis was there to break open some candy.

Both managers, sensing the situation was spiraling out of control faster than a toddler on a sugar high, were ejected after exchanging a few heated words. Padres manager Mike Shildt, clearly fed up with the barrage, lamented the ongoing saga. 'Enough is enough,' he snapped, echoing the thoughts of fans who were trying to figure out whether they were attending a baseball game or an episode of 'Everybody Loves Baseball.'

But the excitement didn’t stop there—oh no. In the bottom of the ninth, with the Padres leading 5-2, it was Shohei Ohtani’s turn to get in on the fun as he faced his own hit-by-pitch incident courtesy of Padres reliever Robert Suarez, who, it appears, had forgotten he wasn't in a paintball tournament. Ohtani’s desire to remain drama-free just got tossed out the window like a ball bouncing off of a poor batter’s arm.

During this four-game series, eight batters managed to paint the stadium with their stripes—although we can only hope these stripes weren’t related to a new fashion trend. The ongoing hits have certainly contributed to the tension, with both dugouts possibly needing to stock up on bubble wrap for the next encounter. Perhaps a friendly ‘no harm, no foul’ sign could be posted in the centerfield as a peace offering.

Despite the chaos, the Dodgers came out on top in three of the four games this series, maintaining a slight edge in the season series that they now lead 5-2. Perhaps for future debates, teams might just want to settle their differences with something simple, like a best-of-seven rock-paper-scissors showdown.

But for now, there’s a bit of a gap between the teams in the NL West standings; the Padres currently trailing five games behind the Dodgers. When asked about their upcoming series—the next chance for redemption and possible culinary mishap—Padres players are preparing for war, perhaps scheduling extra batting practice and reviewing evasive dodging techniques in case of unexpected projectiles.

As Manny Machado put it, the Dodgers should 'pray for' Tatis’s X-ray results to come back negative. Because nothing says 'welcome to modern baseball' quite like waiting with bated breath to see if your star player has a personal date with the disabled list rather than a full-time engagement on the field.

In closing, the upcoming series in mid-August is likely to be scrutinized closer than the last season of your favorite series. Either way, fans are lapping up the drama because, in this warped version of America’s pastime, who cares about the score when you could be dodging incoming fastballs?