In a splash of unexpected fun, Parisians can now plunge into the Seine for the first time in over a century, thanks to a $1.5 billion cleanup and the looming 2024 Olympics—just don’t forget your lifebuoy!

After a century-long swim ban enacted due to pollution fears, Parisians are diving back into the Seine thanks to a substantial cleanup project linked to the upcoming Olympics. With specially designated swimming zones near iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame, locals are cautiously thrilled, armed with bright yellow lifebuoys and skeptical hopes that the only thing they’ll swim with is their enthusiasm—rather than an old shoe or two.

The decision to finally allow swimming in the Seine came after environmental authorities confirmed that bacteria levels in the water are now well below the threshold deemed safe for public bathing. In a city that has long embraced walking along the river, swimming was a notable exception that left many feeling like landlocked mermaids. Remarkably, the Seine, once dreaded for its dubious hospitality, is now open for splashes and sunbathing—provided you remember that your buoy is your best friend in these revitalized waters.

The initiative, part of a broader $1.5 billion cleanup project, was undoubtedly influenced by the upcoming Paris 2024 Olympics, which will showcase the city’s waterways. The Mayor of Paris, Anne Hidalgo, took the plunge—so to speak—at a ceremonial opening, reassuring attendees about the cleanliness of the water. 'I have complete confidence in the quality of our precious river,' she declared, with a tone that implied she might’ve also shared some of the neighboring fish’s confidence. One can only hope the fish are as diligent in keeping their debates private as the local buffers are in keeping the waters pristine.

Nevertheless, while some residents expressed a joyous return to swimming—a tradition enjoyed in the city before 1923, when swimming was reportedly outlawed amid pollution and navigational chaos—others remained skeptical. Describing their first swims as pleasant yet laced with caution, some cited concerns about cleanliness and the lingering fear of unexpected encounters with the river’s less-than-aquatic inhabitants. After all, no one wants to come face-to-face with a rusty bicycle, a frequent contributor to the river’s historical charm.

For those daring enough to go for a dip, there are strict rules. Swimmers must wear the bright yellow lifebuoy—not just for aesthetic reasons, but as a necessary measure that keeps them visible to the watchful eyes of lifeguards stationed along the banks. These lifeguards, far from being mere lifeguards, are more like sentinels guarding against overenthusiastic strokes into the depths of urban legend and murky surprise.

Swimming conditions are meticulously monitored, with daily tests ensuring water quality is suitable for dipping toes—and something more. Flapping flags at designated areas indicate whether it's a day for swimming or a day to admire the Seine's rippling allure from the safety of a riverside café. And while many embrace this newfound aquatic freedom as a sign of progress, the cautious weigh in on the aquatic renaissance with a hearty dose of French reserve. Sipping their flat whites under the Parisian sun, memes are made about the Seine going from sewage canal to swimming pool, even if a few locals still find solace only in the scent of the river’s former mess.

As the city gears up for its Olympic moment, the Seine's return to swimming status may very well prove an aquatic metaphor for larger changes sweeping through Paris. The grandeur of the Games also beckons a reconstruction of perception, where giddy swimmers clad in buoyancy welcome a new chapter that aligns with the Parisian motto: "Liberté, égalité, fraternité... et maintenant, un plongeon." So, maybe let’s toast with a splash if you make it back for the next swim—just be mindful of those pesky items lurking beneath the surface. In the end, only time will tell if Parisians truly are ready to embrace their river like an old friend—albeit one with a questionable past.