In a plot twist that feels straight out of a daytime soap opera, House Republicans have sent criminal referrals to the Department of Justice recommending that Hunter Biden and James Biden be charged with making false statements to Congress. The stage is set for a new episode in this long-running family drama featuring a cast of political players and intrigue.

House Republican leaders James Comer, Jim Jordan, and Jason Smith spearheaded the charge, presenting a 60-page dossier that supports their claims that the younger Biden and his uncle were not as truthful as one might hope during the impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden. The central accusation? Hunter Biden and James Biden allegedly served up more fiction than a Netflix special about their involvement with various business ventures.

The criminal referrals claim that Hunter Biden falsely distanced himself from Rosemont Seneca Bohai, LLC, a firm that found itself the rather fortunate recipient of millions of dollars from foreign entities. According to GOP allegations, these statements were essential pieces of a grander narrative meant to shield Joe Biden from the impeachment inquiry's prying eyes. Once again, we are reminded that family loyalty in politics might just rival the loyalty seen in mafia movies.

Adding more spice to the story, Chairmen Comer, Jordan, and Smith accuse Hunter of providing a totally fictional account regarding some rather spicy text messages sent to his Chinese business partner. Republicans argue that such tall tales amounted to an effort to ensure that Joe Biden came out of the impeachment inquiry looking cleaner than a freshly-laundered suit.

Meanwhile, Uncle James Biden is not left out of the script. He has been accused of stating that Joe Biden never met with Tony Bobulinski, a business associate of the Bidens, back in 2017. If the allegations hold water, this could point to more family fabrications meant to keep Joe Biden out of the limelight for all the wrong reasons.

These dramatic developments come against a backdrop of increasing legal troubles for Hunter Biden, who is meanwhile embroiled in federal gun and tax charges, to which he has pleaded not guilty. It appears the Bidens' legal drama comes with an expansive supporting cast, including the Department of Justice and Special Counsel David Weiss, both tasked with sifting through these latest plot twists.

Republicans argue that lying to Congress isn't just bad form; it’s a serious crime. They want this latest chapter to highlight that no one, not even those with a last name like "Biden," is above the law. Speaker Mike Johnson added a narrative twist, suggesting these investigations might prove that the Justice Department isn't running a two-tier system of justice, but rather, just a very long and winding journey to accountability.

As Congress and the DOJ dive deeper into this sprawling family saga, one thing remains clear: politics continues to be the ultimate reality show, where the plot is forever thickening, and the stakes are always high. Keep your remotes—we mean your newspapers—handy. The next episode promises to be just as intriguing.

For further updates, stay tuned to this episode of “How the Bidens Turn,” airing at every opportunity between the hyperbolic news reports and endless political debates.