In an incident that feels more like an ill-advised subplot from a TV drama, Michigan attorney Levi Trahern Smith was apprehended while attempting to break into a former coworker's home. With a backpack brimming with items more befitting a B-movie villain, Smith's misadventure walked the fine line between unsettling and absurd.

In the middle of the night on June 1, 2024, Smith made his move (Fox, ABC). Armed with a backpack containing a loaded handgun, a large knife, handcuffs, rope, masks, a hammer, a crowbar, duct tape, and latex gloves, Smith evidently packed with the intent to conduct some highly inadvisable and criminal DIY (Fox, ABC).

While Smith may have fancied himself a mastermind, his so-called brilliant plan unraveled spectacularly. The would-be victim, a former coworker and past romantic interest of Smith, quickly triggered the panic alarm and captured his nocturnal antics on Ring doorbell footage, ensuring there were no claims of mistaken identity.

The police, upon arrival, found Smith still sporting his trusty latex gloves, attempting a surreptitious getaway that can only be described as comically doomed (ABC). The noble quest ended in Smith clutching his "starter kidnapping kit" and an impending date with the judicial system.

Charged with attempted home invasion and felony firearm possession, Smith's bond has been set at $25,000, and he is slated to make his next court appearance on June 14 (Fox). Legal experts—i.e., anyone who has ever turned on a police procedural—agree that his defense is bound to need some work.

Authorities believe Smith specifically targeted the woman, adding another layer of grimness to an already baffling caper. Perhaps he was inspired by some unspeakably poor romantic gesture, misunderstood the intricacies of legal statutes, or simply watched one too many crime movies.

Smith’s escapade serves as a sobering reminder that real life doesn’t often mimic the carefully planned schemes found in heist films or thriller novels. Instead, his bungled attempt at villainy is likely to become a cautionary tale, flaunted in law schools under the section, "Don’t Be This Guy."

As the narrative unfolds, maybe Smith will reflect on his choices and the extent to which good judgment took a backseat to poor planning and questionable decision-making. One thing is clear: in the court of public opinion, he’s already been found guilty of complete and utter absurdity.