In a riveting episode of "You Can't Make This Stuff Up," an undocumented migrant from Venezuela has managed to wedge himself between the wheels of the American criminal justice and immigration systems in the most dramatic way possible. Bernardo Castro Mata, a 19-year-old who crossed into the U.S. illegally last July, currently finds himself splashed across headlines due to his less-than-luxurious claims to fame.

It all came to a dramatic head in Queens early Monday when NYPD officers tried to detain Castro Mata for the heinous crime of riding a scooter in the wrong direction (NYPost, CNN). Of all the traffic infractions New Yorkers choose to ignore, this one proved to be a life-altering event.

Faced with the immediate danger of a traffic ticket, Castro Mata, clearly subscribing to the 'go big or go home' notion, decided to brandish an illegal firearm stored in a fanny pack (a fashion choice that raises serious questions). He then reportedly shot Officer Yarusso at point-blank range. In a scene straight out of a superhero film—minus the capes—Yarusso’s bullet-proof vest caught the brunt of the attack, saving his life and letting him tackle Castro Mata (NYPost).

Not to be an underachiever, Castro Mata then shot another officer, Abreu, in the leg during the melee. Adding to this street-level action flick, Castro Mata was shot in the ankle by NYPD officers before he was finally apprehended (CNN).

Believe it or not, this intense showdown goes down just a month after Castro Mata's immigration case was dismissed by a judge (CNN). Yes, less than 30 days before he reportedly turned New York City streets into his own rendition of an action sequel, he was legally free to stay. Free, that is, until he wasn't. Now he's facing a laundry list of charges that includes two counts of attempted murder, assault, and illegal gun possession (NYPost).

Earlier, Castro Mata made his unauthorized entry into the U.S. via Eagle Pass, Texas, and was then released by U.S. Border Patrol (CNN). Somehow, through an alignment of what we can only assume to be bureaucratic stars, he ended up residing in a former hotel turned migrant shelter in Queens, thus far evading the clutches of law enforcement for his alleged involvement in several robberies (CNN).

New York Police Commissioner Edward Caban connected the fateful traffic stop to an ongoing pattern of robberies involving suspects on mopeds and scooters in Queens (CNN). So riding a scooter the wrong way was only the tip of Castro Mata's potential iceberg of offenses.

Post-shootout, as fans of courtroom dramas, you might appreciate the scene Castro Mata set in his virtual arraignment. He appeared by video in front of over 50 NYPD officers in a packed Queens courtroom, adding a touch of old-school theater to his modern-day tragedy (NYPost). Queens Criminal Court Judge Jeffrey Gershuny was less than inspired, subsequently ordering him to be held without bail.

If you needed another twist, here you go: ICE has now lodged an immigration detainer against our leading man (CNN). This development implies he may yet see a different kind of cage, pending the conclusion of his upcoming saga in criminal court.

So, here lies the contemporary plot: A once-dismissed immigration case now morphed into an attempted murder trial, all thanks to the surprising weaponry one can fit into a fanny pack. Whether Castro Mata’s story turns into a serialized courtroom drama or a cautionary tale remains to be seen. But for now, his life is a potent reminder that in the grand theater of the absurd, sometimes reality writes the most outlandish scripts (NYPost, CNN).