In a surprising twist straight out of a Cold War thriller reboot, Russian naval ships, including the nuclear-powered submarine Kazan, are set to visit Cuba next week, citing "historically friendly relations" between the two nations. From June 12 to June 17, Havana will play host to an ensemble cast of naval vessels, featuring the frigate Gorshkov, the fleet oil tanker Pashin, and the salvage tug Nikolai Chiker. Apparently, no one mentioned ‘girl talk’ or ‘knitting circle’ as cover terms for what's clearly the largest maritime reunion Cuba has seen in years.

Fearing a nuclear-themed fiesta, many were quick to recall that Cuban authorities firmly stated that none of the Russian ships carry nuclear weapons and their presence does not represent a threat to the region. So, while a nuclear fallout isn't on the itinerary, it sure didn't stop the subtext-heavy ‘friendly visit’ from raising eyebrows.

To add a bit of context, Cuba, amidst its worst economic crisis in decades, leans heavily on Russian oil and aid. The timing of the visit is also rather curious, coming just days after U.S. President Joe Biden authorized Ukraine to launch limited strikes inside Russian territory with American munitions. In response, Russian President Vladimir Putin hinted that, given Western countries supplying weapons to a conflict zone, they run the risk of playing dodgeball with a nation that's stockpiled more than enough balls. He cryptically mentioned Moscow could take “asymmetrical steps” elsewhere in the world, which some might interpret as the international diplomacy equivalent of 'wanna play chicken?'

Alongside this flotilla fanfare, military exercises in the Caribbean will likely feature long-range bombers joyriding along the U.S. East Coast. Yes, you read that correctly. To add a flourish of pageantry, expect a 21-salvo artillery salute from one of the Russian ships upon arrival, which will be reciprocated by Cuba’s Revolutionary Armed Forces. Because nothing says ‘friendship’ quite like synchronized pyrotechnics.

The backdrop? The U.S. isn't exactly breaking into a cold sweat. Government officials acknowledge the presence of Russian military hardware, tracking their meticulous movements, all while assuring it's notable but not worthy of dropping a sweat.

This isn't the first time Russian warships have decided to swing by Cuba. However, the scope and scale of this visit appear to trumpet over previous ones, wrapping under the banner of a “friendly,” albeit eyebrow-raising, naval rendezvous.

And while Havana's harbor prepares to welcome its sliver of naval grandeur, let's not pretend that this doesn't come without its share of whispers, winks, and a collective sigh of relief that the only fireworks expected are metaphorical—for now.