Parisians are threatening to turn the Seine into a giant toilet on June 23 to protest the Olympic-sized mess of bacteria and broken promises about the river's cleanliness.

Spurred by viral hashtags and a tongue-in-cheek calculator, Parisians plan a unique protest against broken promises to clean the Seine before the 2024 Summer Olympics. Frustrated by the $1.5 billion spent without clear results—and high bacteria levels persisting—residents aim to show their discontent. By defecating in the river, they hope to highlight their anger at both the Parisian authorities and high-profile pledges from President Macron and Mayor Hidalgo, all while poking fun at the resources spent on an issue that seems far from resolved.

The protest has been gaining momentum on social media, particularly with the hashtag #JeChieDansLaSeineLe23Juin, which translates to 'I poop in the Seine on June 23.' A dedicated website even features a quirky calculator to help would-be protesters time their contributions so that their waste reaches central Paris precisely at noon.

The imaginative approach is partly a nod to thwarted ambitions; both French President Emmanuel Macron and Paris Mayor Anne Hidalgo had boasted they would swim in the Seine. 'It's a joke,' admitted Pierre, the computer engineer who first floated the idea as a satire, only to find it peculiarly catching on amongst increasingly frustrated Parisians.

Those frustrations are rooted in stubborn scientific facts. Tests conducted in June 2024 revealed alarming levels of E. coli and enterococci bacteria in the river—a stark contradiction to rosy political promises. Charitable organization Surfrider also flagged serious contaminant levels at the Alexandre III Bridge, results that sports federations would find unacceptable. Despite these findings, officials appear optimistic, perhaps believing that a dash of Parisian charm might somehow disinfect the waters just in time for the Games.

Marc Guillaume, a Paris region official, struck a note of optimism despite the ongoing controversy surrounding the Seine. 'Events set for the Seine will proceed as planned,' he reassured, confident about the preparations. With a hint of humor, he added, 'Let's hope the only thing that makes a splash is the event itself, not our swimmers!'

The real kicker is the $1.5 billion (€1.4 billion) already funneled into what appears to be a Sisyphean effort to cleanse the Seine. Many residents feel this money could have been better spent, pointing to unresolved social issues such as housing shortages and elevated transportation costs as their priorities.

Olympics-related discontent is also fuelled by practical grievances. With transport costs soaring and homeless encampments cleared, citizens are starting to feel the tangible impacts. Even the brightest spotlight—an international sporting event—can't curb the local issues simmering under its glow.

Despite the crude humor of their chosen method, these protesters seek to draw attention to serious concerns. 'They spend billions on making the city look good for visitors,' said Marie, a frustrated local, 'but what about us who live here every day? We're fed up.'

Indeed, the protest may seem outlandish, but it’s a visceral manifestation of deep-seated vexations. It’s a statement that the capital’s glossy facade isn't fooling the very people who call it home. And as June 23 approaches, Parisian authorities might need more than sewage treatment plants to clean up their image.