Independence Day 2024 lands on a Thursday, meaning while fireworks fly, Costco takes a patriotic nap, but don't worry—Walmart and Target have your last-minute BBQ supplies covered.

As the nation gears up to celebrate its 248th birthday on a weekday, Costco will be taking the day off, leaving its aisles as empty as the British Treasury post-1776. Fear not, for diligent patriots can still rely on Walmart and Target, both of which will be fully operational, to keep those grills sizzling and patriotic indulgences intact. Meanwhile, other familiar retail havens like Sam’s Club and Whole Foods will also open their doors, ensuring no bun, burger, or sparkler is left behind on this momentous Thursday.

For those early risers or chronic procrastinators in need of last-minute supplies, Walmart will be the go-to. Open from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m., the retail giant promises to be a steadfast companion for all your Independence Day needs. Whether it’s extra hot dogs, an unreasonably large amount of ice, or simply escaping an overzealous uncle's political rants, Walmart is ready and waiting.

Target, ever the reliable neighbor, will maintain its regular local hours, so shoppers won’t have to decode any secret holiday schedule. Feel free to wander the aisles at your usual time and bask in the air-conditioned glory as you contemplate if three bags of marshmallows are enough for s’mores.

However, those hoping to stock up at Costco will need to adjust their plans. In an act of sublime independence of their own, Costco warehouses across the nation will close their doors on July 4th. Clearly, even bulk-sized American flags need their beauty sleep.

Sam’s Club, the not-so-secret society of bulk buyers, will offer restricted hours. Plus members can snag their oversized mayo jars from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., while Club members can join the fun starting at 10 a.m. Dare we say, Independence Day is a bit exclusive at Sam’s.

Whole Foods will keep its stores operational during normal business hours, offering the usual cornucopia of organic delights and witnessing a spike in quinoa salad sales. In contrast, Trader Joe’s will call it a day early, closing shop at 5 p.m. Perhaps they need time to prepare an elaborate fireworks display made entirely out of their finest cookie butter.

Public services, synonymous with endless waiting lines and bureaucratic charm, will mostly take a break. All nonessential government offices, including the DMV and public libraries, will be closed, giving citizens at least one day without bureaucracy breathing down their necks. Banks will join in the celebratory closure, ensuring no last-minute financial heroics involving Capital One or Bank of America.

Postal workers across the country will also be off-duty, meaning no frantic last-minute mail runs. As patients in need of essential deliveries hang tight, UPS and FedEx will be mostly out of action too. However, for the truly critical shipments, UPS Express Critical and FedEx Custom Critical services will remain open. Because what screams 'Independence' more than an urgent, time-sensitive package defying all odds?

With a Federal Reserve banking holiday in place, traditional banking will be another casualty of the celebrations. But fear not, modern technology gallantly steps in with online banking services and ATMs remaining at your service. So, while planning your festivities, rest assured that your access to thrilling balance checks remains uninterrupted.

As we approach July 4th, the nation can take comfort in knowing that amidst the closures and amended store hours, there's always somewhere to turn for that last-minute convenience. As you stock up and prepare to celebrate, just keep an eye on those opening times—especially if you’ve procrastinated and need to negotiate another run for buns.