After 14 record-breaking seasons hitting home runs and collecting triples, Charlie Blackmon announced his retirement from the Rockies, leaving fans to wonder who will fill his stylish beard’s big cleats.

Blackmon, a Rockies legend with an impressive career batting average of .292, 226 home runs, and an unparalleled collection of 67 triples, expressed his heartfelt gratitude to fans and the Rockies organization as he hangs up his cleats. Known for his stellar performance, including a staggering 2017 season where he snagged the NL batting title, Blackmon leaves behind a legacy more robust than his iconic beard, prompting questions about who can step up to both fill the statistical void and match his impeccable facial hair game.

Taking to social media to announce his retirement, Blackmon didn't just reflect on his career, but also took the opportunity to thank the Colorado Rockies organization and their ever-loyal fan base, stating, "I couldn’t have asked for a better place to play the game I love." One can imagine fans weeping into their Rocky Mountain oysters at such a heartfelt moment, while simultaneously wondering if the Rockies might appoint a new mascot fashioned from Blackmon's beard.

With a career batting average of .292, it's clear that Blackmon was no stranger to contact at the plate. Alongside his stunning 226 home runs and 797 RBIs, he managed to make Coors Field not just a stadium, but a sanctuary for outfielders—and a nightmare for ball retrieval services. His 2017 NL batting title was particularly impressive, as he hit .331 while launching a career-high 37 home runs and driving in 104 RBIs. Clearly, he didn't just play in Colorado; he became synonymous with its mountain peaks of batting averages.

In addition to his astronomical statistics, Blackmon earned accolades that would make even a trophy case weep with envy. A four-time All-Star and two-time Silver Slugger, his last All-Star appearance in 2019 showed he still had plenty of gas left in the tank, yielding a .314 batting average alongside 32 home runs and 86 RBIs. As other stars dimmed, Blackmon seemed to shine brighter—presumably with the help of his exceptionally luxurious beard grooming regimen.

Statistics reveal that he is the Rockies' career leader in triples with 67, a fact which should raise eyebrows if you’ve ever seen anyone attempt to go for third in recent time. Blackmon is also second in hits (1,797), total bases (2,942), doubles (333), and games played (1,618). In short, he didn't just play for the Rockies; he put them on the metaphorical map of Major League Baseball, and his statistics read less like numbers and more like poetic verses in a tribute to baseball.

Rockies owner Dick Monfort expressed his deep emotions at Blackmon's departure, stating, "Charlie’s dedication to the game and the Rockies has been unparalleled. He wasn’t just a player, he was a cornerstone of our franchise." It seemed like Monfort's words brought a tear or two to the eyes of nearby employees, likely prompting a rush to avoid a shameful scene – no one wants to be the team’s designated handkerchief provider.

As fans digest the announcement, it’s hard not to wonder who will take Blackmon’s place. Clearly, nobody is ready to rip off that beard and make it their own (although a few might try). With such a robust legacy in batting statistics and an equally large presence in the clubhouse, the Rockies are now faced with the challenge of stepping out of the shadow of his number 19 jersey, finding someone who not only can hit the ball but also stays effortlessly cool while doing so.

As the Rockies move forward into this new chapter, they may need to take a page from Blackmon’s book. His dedication to practice and performance, coupled with humor behind the scenes, serves as a reminder that success isn’t just about numbers. And while they seek to fill the statistical gaps left by Charlie Blackmon, it's important to remember that perhaps the biggest void of all will be that well-groomed facial hair swinging in the breeze on the field.

So here’s to Charlie Blackmon. May your retirement be filled with calm days away from the diamond, and may your beard forever remain the stuff of legends, even as Rockies fans stack up on tissues in honor of your illustrious time spent rocking the Rockies.