In a battle of the barely offensive, the Los Angeles Rams edged out the San Francisco 49ers 12-6 at Levi’s Stadium, proving sometimes field goals reign supreme—who needs touchdowns anyway?

In an astonishing display of defensive prowess and offensive lethargy, the Rams managed to secure a victory that can only be described as 'satisfyingly boring,' marking the first time in 152 meetings that neither team found the end zone through three quarters. The Rams’ season record improved to 8-6, while the 49ers now sit at a disappointing 6-8, a reminder that sometimes, it's more about the kicks than the catches.

The game began with both teams exhibiting skills more suited to a game of field hockey than football, as they combined for seven punts in the first quarter alone. It appeared the teams had made an unspoken agreement to take turns trying to out-punt each other rather than score, as spectators watched the spiraling footballs flying overhead, hoping they would land on the right side of the 50-yard line.

San Francisco broke the deadlock first with a flourishing 53-yard field goal from Jake Moody, sending the home crowd into a state of at least mild excitement. The Rams were quick to respond with a 48-yard attempt by Joshua Karty, bolstering the ambiance of quiet admiration for kickers everywhere. In a game where every yard counts, it seemed both teams recognized that kicking was, perhaps, a solid strategy when touchdowns were in short supply.

As the game trudged into the fourth quarter, the Rams decided it was time to take the lead with a flurry of field goals. They scored three in that final period, wrapping themselves in the warm blanket of field goal safety, while quietly wondering if perhaps a touchdown here and there might have reduced the tension in the air. Karty made all four of his attempts, frustrated football purists, while the 49ers could only manage two successful conversions from Moody.

This game also showcased the weather's unyielding influence on play, as Rams quarterback Matt Stafford noted post-game. It was almost as if the elements themselves conspired to eliminate any chance of an entertaining offensive performance, reminding fans that football is as much about the conditions as it is about the players. Who knew wind could be an even bigger threat than the 49ers' defensive line?

The Rams were led by wide receiver Puka Nacua, who managed to catch seven passes for an impressive 97 yards, all while working tirelessly to find the zones of the field where offense might just miraculously appear. Meanwhile, running back Kyren Williams churned through the 49ers’ defense with 29 carries for 108 yards, marking his third 100-yard rushing game of the season—because when there’s no finesse involved, power running can still be a thing.

In a game where offensive strategies may have seemed more like guided tours of the field than genuine attempts to score, the 49ers also featured the return of linebacker Dre Greenlaw. After being activated off injured reserve, his season debut didn’t culminate in victory as the 49ers lost to the Los Angeles Rams 12-6.

On the topic of frustrations, 49ers wide receiver Deebo Samuel was reportedly irked over his role in the offense, and who can blame him? With the team’s paltry 191 total yards, he might have started to feel something resembling a soccer player at a 0-0 draw—passive aggression without the adrenaline.

As the dust settled on this showdown, Rams head coach Sean McVay took a moment to celebrate the victory, praising the unique ability of his team to find ways to win—even when the points were only being scored via kicks. Comments from his post-game interview suggested that if the Rams received gold stars for effort, they might just be leading the pack.

With the Rams' victory, they keep their slim playoff hopes alive, while the 49ers are left contemplating whether a game plan involving actual touchdowns may be worth exploring. As for the fans? They can only hope the next meeting between these two rivals features at least some semblance of offensive enthusiasm, rather than a conversation piece about how football can certainly exist without, well, football.