In a surprising turn, Donald Trump declared he won't deport Prince Harry, humorously attributing the decision to the Duke's 'enough problems with his wife' while branding Meghan Markle as 'terrible' and 'whipped.'

Trump's unexpected endorsement comes amid allegations from the Heritage Foundation about Prince Harry's past illegal drug use that they claim could undermine his U.S. visa status. While Trump dismissed the idea of deportation, potentially to ensure Harry keeps his royal drama off U.S. soil, he couldn't resist taking a swing at Meghan Markle, reinforcing that even in judgment, one must first avoid the drama of an angry duchess.

In his signature style, Trump made a point to underline that Prince Harry's marriage might provide sufficient punishment for any infractions he may have committed. 'Look at him, he’s whipped,' Trump remarked, implying that Harry's domestic life is more than enough to keep him in line. Apparently, royal life comes with its own set of hardships, and Trump's outlook seems to prioritize marital bliss over immigration laws. The ex-president's off-the-cuff comments have left many wondering if he sees marriage as a legal sanction in its own right, a sort of ‘do not deport’ card handed out at the wedding ceremony.

Despite Trump’s dismissive tone toward deportation, the Heritage Foundation isn’t letting the matter rest. They’ve jumped into the legal fray, alleging that Prince Harry hasn't been entirely forthcoming about past illicit activities, an assertion that would suggest Harry may have misrepresented himself when obtaining his U.S. visa. In case anyone needed a reminder that the immigration process is more complicated than assembling Ikea furniture, these allegations serve as an excellent case study.

The lawsuit filed by the Heritage Foundation appears to be an attempt to unearth Harry's immigration records, perhaps as a prelude to revealing secrets of royal mischief to the public. But if there's one thing we've learned from the adventures of Harry and Meghan, it’s that secrets rarely stay buried for long. A federal judge has hinted at the possibility of the records being made public, meaning that, while Harry's plight might not include deportation, it could lead to the ultimate reality show of royal records.

Meanwhile, Meghan Markle, the center of much of the controversy, is no stranger to Trump’s sharp tongue. Having labeled Trump as 'divisive' and 'misogynistic,' Meghan’s previous criticism of the former president’s rhetoric paints their dynamic in shades of soap opera rivalry. If only these two could resolve their differences over tea, or perhaps a round of golf where points are deducted for every disparaging remark.

In juxtaposition to his comments about Harry, Trump took a momentary break from his usual soundbites to offer praise for Prince William. Trump labeled William as a 'great young man,' perhaps sensing that complimenting the future king might earn him some goodwill. There appears to be a delicate dance at play here—where one has to balance criticism of Harry and Meghan with safe praise for their brother and sister-in-law. A classic strategy: befriend the future king while playfully batting at the younger, more scandal-prone sibling.

As the legal drama unfolds, one thing is sure: the saga surrounding Harry’s U.S. residency is causing a stir that even the Windsors might find hard to believe. Trump’s comments have not only thrust the couple back into headlines but also reignited discussions around immigration policies, especially regarding public figures. Trump ruled out deporting Prince Harry, but he also commented that Harry has 'enough problems with his wife' and described him as 'whipped' by Meghan Markle.

Of course, Trump’s blend of lighthearted ridicule and serious allegations serves as a reminder of how wildly different the worlds of royalty and politics can be. Each move, each spoken word could lead to a consequence that either earns applause or pity. For Prince Harry, who has openly admitted to his past illegal drug use in his memoir, navigating this landscape will be no small feat; he might just need another book for that.

In the end, as we watch the legal machinations regarding Harry's visa and Trump’s critical comments towards him and Meghan Markle, one can’t help but appreciate the absurdity of it all. What started as comments has evolved into a bizarre spectacle involving a former president's relationship with a British royal and the complex ramifications of their personal lives under the microscope. While discussions around Harry's past have emerged, the implications for his current visa situation remain speculative.