In a shocking twist, President Trump's advisers will meet Russian officials in Saudi Arabia for peace negotiations over Ukraine, but don’t expect any Ukrainians or Europeans to crash this exclusive diplomatic party.

In a bizarre diplomatic move that seems to ignore the actual parties involved, Trump's team, led by Secretary of State Marco Rubio, is set to discuss peace in Ukraine without so much as a text to Ukrainian or European leaders. The talks, meant to broker a 'durable, lasting peace,' resemble an exclusive club meeting where members decide the fate of others while keeping them outside in the cold – not a great look for anyone trying to negotiate an end to a war.

The ensemble cast for this intriguing negotiation includes Secretary of State Marco Rubio, national security adviser Mike Waltz, and special envoy Steve Witkoff. The trio will be heading to Saudi Arabia, a country known for its palm trees, sand dunes, and, oddly enough, being a backdrop for urgent diplomatic discussions. It’s as if they’ve chosen the most picturesque location possible in the hopes that the sunset will magically solve their problems.

Despite the troop movements and explosions happening back home, negotiations officially kick off without any presence from Ukrainian officials. Some Ukrainians might be feeling slightly offended—especially as their homes are featured prominently on the battlefield. Their absence raises a pivotal question: How do you negotiate peace while waving goodbye to those we’re calling for a truce?

Furthermore, European powers, who are generally expected to be involved in discussions regarding peace across the continent, are also notably absent. The choice to omit these key allies from discussions feels somewhat like hosting a barbecue while ensuring that no vegetarians in the neighborhood receive an invitation. What's for dinner might be a delightful grilled affair for those present, but it’s unclear how the excluded might feel about the smoldering sausages in their absence.

In other developments, Secretary Rubio made strides by holding a phone call with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, which seems to be a prerequisite for the actual negotiations. This fleeting moment of connection, likely loaded with the standard diplomatic pleasantries, serves as a warm-up act for what will unfold in Saudi Arabia. However, there’s only so much you can accomplish via phone—especially if your battery dies during a crucial moment.

As for the negotiations themselves, they’re designed to operate on two separate tracks: one directed at Russia and the other focused on addressing Ukrainian needs. However, the juxtaposition of negotiating terms without Ukraine in the room could be seen as speaking about someone while they’ve popped out for a latte. It’s puzzling, to say the least, how genuine discussions can happen when the most affected party is given the ignition key but no car.

Moreover, it has been intimated that there might be discussions extending beyond just Ukraine. A smorgasbord of bilateral issues stands ready for discussion, likely including trade arrangements, environmental concerns, and perhaps even who makes the best borscht. Given the situation, it feels rather comedic that everything under the sun might be up for negotiation, yet the focal issue, namely the ongoing conflict in Ukraine, appears less pressing without Ukrainian representation.

Interestingly, there are whispers about a potential meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin to take place in Saudi Arabia as well. While nothing has been formally decided just yet, the anticipation surrounding a possible tête-à-tête between these two prominent figures adds a dash of speculation to the already bewildering narrative. Will they share toe-curling tales of their shared interests or eventually get down to the reality of pressing geopolitical issues? It’s anyone's guess.

Adding to the complexity of the negotiations is the prevailing understanding that Ukraine might not return to its pre-2014 borders, as suggested by Hegseth, who is watching the developments like a hawk. And with Ukraine's NATO aspirations seemingly swept aside like yesterday's newspapers, it's clear the stakes are high and the future uncertain. Yet, assurances of 'durable peace' are shot out as if they were birthday balloons, floating high without much substance to hold them down.

In the end, if these negotiations are anything like other diplomatic efforts, they might just result in a carefully worded statement that the parties have established a rapport - and nothing more. For now, President Trump's advisers prepare for their meeting with Russian officials in Saudi Arabia, where Ukrainian and European officials have not been invited to participate. It’s diplomacy at its quirkiest, and while laughter may not be the remedy this time, it certainly has a ring of absurdity to it.