Dr. Anthony Fauci is set to testify on Monday before a Republican-led House panel investigating the origins of COVID-19 and the government's pandemic response. Get your popcorn ready, folks – this is the kind of political theater that promises drama, heated exchanges, and maybe, just maybe, a glimpse of Fauci blaming Mercury in retrograde for the pandemic.

This hearing marks Fauci's first public appearance on Capitol Hill since he retired from public office in 2022. Fauci, who spent years as the chief medical advisor to President Biden and the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), might finally be cutting all those Zoom webinar subscriptions loose. But before he can cozy up with a good book on immunology, he must face the House Oversight and Accountability Committee.

The hearing, led by Republican Chairman Brad Wenstrup of Ohio, promises to sift through what Fauci knew, when he knew it, and whether he has a secret Evil Plan Diary hidden in his bookshelf. Last week, the committee released transcripts from a closed-door interview conducted with Fauci in January. The interview lasted 14 hours over two days – longer than most series marathons on streaming platforms.

During this marathon session, Fauci stated that the virus could be a lab leak or a natural occurrence. However, he defied conspiracy theorist expectations by leaning towards the natural occurrence explanation. This means he's not quite ready to join the ranks of those who believe the moon landing was filmed in a Hollywood basement.

The committee's memo concluded that the lab leak theory is no longer a tinfoil hat topic, officially removing it from the conspiracy theory club – much to the dismay of its more fervent members. The memo also threw shade at certain pandemic policies, such as maintaining a six-foot distance, vaccine mandates, and masks for children, claiming they lacked supporting scientific evidence. This indicates that the committee’s affinity for personal space might match that of a squirrel in a busy park.

On Monday, Fauci will be fielding questions from the House Oversight and Accountability Committee, examining his role and decisions during the pandemic. For those who can’t sneak a radio into work like it’s the Super Bowl, no worries – USA TODAY will be providing live coverage of the event.

While Fauci's return to Capitol Hill might not bring new episodes of "The Fauci Show: Pandemic Edition," it will provide a gripping drama where every word could be scrutinized and every pause could be labeled "suspicious." So, will Fauci emerge unscathed, or will Mercury in retrograde have the last laugh? Stay tuned.