Heather Wells now finds herself in less-than-friendly skies as the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is suing her for a staggering $81,950 fine following an incident on a 2021 American Airlines flight. It turns out that trying to open the main cabin door mid-flight gets you more than just stern looks from flight attendants; it also lands you a fine that could fund a modest home in middle America.

The drama began to unfold on American Airlines Flight 1774 from Dallas, Texas to Charlotte, North Carolina, somewhere between the dates of July 6 and July 7, 2021. Exactly one hour into the flight, a Jack Daniels, neat, served to Wells, apparently triggered a series of unfortunate events.

As soon as the whiskey touched her lips, Wells transformed into the avionics equivalent of a bull in a china shop. She attempted to open the main cabin door mid-flight—a notion that would make even the most seasoned superhero think twice. Her violent antics didn’t stop there; she also directed her fury at both the flight crew and other passengers.

Her acts of airborne anarchy necessitated an unusual level of restraint. Flight attendants resorted to using duct tape and flex cuffs before eventually gagging Wells to manage her unruly behavior. It seemed like a creative attempt at an in-flight Halloween costume—a bound and gagged villain, perhaps? But the crew was not aiming for fashion points; it was the only option left to ensure everyone else's safety.

Duct tape, it turns out, was the only thing that could hold her in check. Despite being restrained, Wells continued to channel her inner action movie star—kicking, spitting, and attempting to bite and head-butt anyone who dared come near her. Putting her on the "no-fly" list was apparently just not good enough; she seemed determined to make air travel so stressful that passengers would prefer swimming the Atlantic.

As the plane finally touched down in Charlotte, law enforcement was summoned for what was surely the highlight of their day. Removing someone like Wells from an aircraft evidently required a small army of officers and medical responders. She didn’t just walk off the plane; she had to be sedated and escorted with the sort of care usually reserved for defusing a bomb.

Interestingly, despite the mayhem, Wells was not criminally charged. Instead, the FAA decided to hit her pocketbook where it hurts by slapping her with the largest fine ever recorded for such behavior—$81,950. However, as with many a prodigal parent’s advice about responsibility, Wells seemed to have missed the memo. The unpaid fine has led the FAA to sue her in an attempt to recover the cost.

You could say Heather Wells has set a Guinness World Record of her own, though not one you’d find in the official book. The FAA suing a passenger for failing to pay an $81,950 fine for attempting to manipulate the doors of a vessel thousands of feet in the air might be seen as overkill by some. But to the rest of us, it's a glaring reminder that maintaining civility is indeed priceless—although the FAA has apparently set a minimum price tag.

In a world where air travel is already rife with mystery fees and day-ruining delays, Wells's case adds a whole new layer of absurdity. She faces turbulence not just in the sky, but also in the courtroom. If nothing else, this episode serves as a colorful cautionary tale that certain actions can indeed make one persona non grata at 30,000 feet. Better stick to the in-flight movie next time.